What do I do as your wedding celebrant?

Well, outside of the basic legal stuff we all do (making sure the government agrees that you're married), the main part is crafting a personalised, unique, intimate and modern ceremony that's as ‘you’ as it gets! But there's obviously a little more to being a wedding celebrant than that, so I’ll break it down for you from where we’ll start, to where we’ll end up:

I’ll take you guys on a date: I know, I know, you're both spoken for - but we've still got to meet up and get to know each other! We'll meet at a pub or café (please say pub), talk about you guys, your wedding, and how it all led to you guys planning the best day of your life. It might not be quite as exciting as the first date the two of you already had, but I guarantee it'll be better than most first dates!

I’ll handle the admin: there's a bunch of really unexciting administration involved in getting you two hitched, and you'll be happy to know that as your marriage celebrant I'll be handling 95% of it. All you'll have to do is fill in my info questionnaire, upload some documents, and sign where I tell you to sign. Once the wedding's over, I'll let you know the steps to getting a copy of your marriage certificate and doing the whole name change thing if that's what you'd like to do.

I solemnly swear that I, James, will help you, couple, with your vows: your personal vows to one another are the emotional high point of the ceremony, which is what makes them so important - and nerve-wracking! But don’t worry, nearlyweds - not only have I written a super bloody helpful vow guide to get the ball rolling, but I'm on call 24/7 (ok not quite, but you know what I mean) to talk it through on the phone and to make revisions and suggestions until we nail it. Once we’ve got those vows just right, I'll print them out for you in one of my very-nice-indeed vow booklets and bring them with me on the day!

I'll marry you anywhere: my setup is high-quality, low-profile, and one hundred percent battery powered, portable and wireless. My Bose S1 Pro system requires no unsightly tripod stand and I've got all your ceremony music ready to go on my leather-bound tablet, along with your ceremony script. I once married a couple on a giant rock 50km from the closest town in the wheatbelt. When I say I can be your marriage celebrant anywhere, I mean it - outdoor, indoor, traditional, modern, elopements and destination weddings, it’s all good.

I’m the ceremony point-man: as your marriage celebrant, I'll be there early enough to talk with all the other vendors involved in your ceremony to make sure we're all on the same page. Your photographer will know the order of the ceremony, I'll have your videographer sorted with a direct audio feed from my speaker, and if you've got live musicians I'll make sure all their cues are perfect!

I’m also the post-ceremony sheepdog: once you're officially married and have boogied your way back up the aisle, I'll get on the mic and herd everyone into the right spot for any group pictures, and let them know where they'll be heading for pre-reception drinks while you're off for your photos.

And that's pretty much it! Sound good? Drop me a line.